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Download Healing the Shame That Binds You epub

by John Bradshaw

Download Healing the Shame That Binds You epub
ISBN: 0585105251
ISBN13: 978-0585105253
Category: Self-Help
Subcategory: Personal Transformation
Author: John Bradshaw
Language: English
Publisher: Health Communications; PF edition (1988)
ePUB size: 1334 kb
FB2 size: 1609 kb
Rating: 4.9
Votes: 684
Other Formats: txt lit mobi lrf

Ah. So It has a name. That feeling that follows us through years and years, that keeps eating at us and deteriorating our life. At first you double the efforts to keep on functioning and achieving ("put your back into it!"). Some achievements come with that. But you feel increasingly drained, fearful of disasters and failure (which can lead you smack into some of them btw), and just so gd tired. And weirdly empty, disconnected and phony even to yourself. Soooo.... bit by bit you keep on trying to quench that nagging dissatisfied thirst with... well, just plain more. More work. More "fun" (a world of problems here, none of them fun at all). More money. More shoes. And always thinking "when I get that new (i) car (ii) job (iii) promotion (iv) title (v) ring etc etc etc, I'll feel better. More serene and real. I'll find "my" place, where I "belong"".
One therapist once told me that this sounded like "when I grow up...". I never forgot that.
This book is important. To me, it was an absolute revelation.
If you identify with anything I wrote above, check this book out. It brings an almost immediate feeling of relief. What happens after the first eureka moment is up to each one of us and our individual stories. But, as a group, it's like realizing your symptons are documented and part of a disease that afflicts a lot of people and not just you - and which CAN be treated; which has nothing to do with your real identity.
And that place? Where we belong? It's right there inside each of us, patiently waiting for us to come back. I'm trying to find my own way back, and this book was the most precise and clearest "guide" I found so far. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm on my way. Using the right road and all. At the right pace.
I do wish I had come across this before. But then again, time and place for everything, right?
My second time around for this one--a little less challenging this time, but so very appropriate and the beginning of healing--and I am an old (81) lady now. Much of my shame was self-imposed, not following my own moral/ethical rules and shaming my self.
Bradshaw writes a compelling book on the inner tormentor that has poisoned and ruled so many of our lives.

From a genuine and soul-affirming account of the author's own personal childhood shaming trauma, to treatises on how shame develops psychologically, to chapters of how to combat and console wounded characters, to a (too) brief treatise on the numinous and spiritual, Bradshaw covers nicely the various facets of what it means to be shamed toxically, and how to recover and even thrive.

Whether for personal self-help, or to learn perhaps academically on the topic, or even as an aide to therapists and their ilk, I highly recommend this book as an eye-opener on this "daimonic" (all-encompassing) facet of life.
this is a fantastic book about problems we experience with anxiety, self-esteem, and how we see ourselves and the world. learned a lot about myself in time of crises!!
I love John Bradshaw's book on recovery. I have many of them. They helped a lot during my recovery from childhood. I recommend this book to all my friends.
Bradshaw's book is a fantastic one, second only to Alice Miller's book, "Prisoners of Childhood". When I realized that this was the same person who was on public television talking about healing the child within, I knew that I had to read this book. I could so relate to his stories about shame that the book made me want to cry. Anyone who is struggling with an addiction from alcohol, drugs, sex, food will be able to relate to this book. I am dealing now with a husband who is overly critical and I was searching for ways to deal with his difficult behaviours. I photocopied Bradshaw's seven tips for dealing with critical people. He states that these people are really shame based and deal with their own shame by shaming and judging others. This makes perfect sense to me. I used one of his strategies one time when my husband blew his top and started being negative and critical of me. I decided to use the "cofusing strategy" which involves using a word that you make up to throw your critic off the track and confuse them so they do not know how to respond. Instead of reacting in anger to his negative remarks, I replied calmly, " How perspicacious of you dear to understand me so well! He looked confounded and confused and then, with a defeated look on his face, he admitted, " You always use these big words that I don't understand." Ha, ha! I managed to avoid an argument because he didn't know whether he'd been complimented or insulted! It put me back in control!
After reading dozens of self-help books, most of which were very good, this is the one I can re-read over and over. I'm not sure if the author being the same gender as I has a little to do with it, but this book resonated with me throughout. I've found a pretty unanimous consensus in my readings of the consequences of childhood trauma, abuse, and neglect, but John Bradshaw writes with such a command of the topic. Perhaps his philosophical background allows him to put it in its larger humanistic context, I don't know. The outline is not the typical linear approach to abuse recognition and recovery, but rather one that recognizes the disparity of individual responses to a pretty universal issue of shame and its effect on modern human psychology.